Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
For years, I believed I hated sales. The very word brought to mind the cutthroat, dishonest, and ruthless environment I experienced as a young estate agent.
Being made redundant from my Lettings Manager role while on maternity leave was, in a strange way, the perfect escape hatch. It was the push I needed to start my own business, where I hoped to leave that “icky” feeling behind. However, for the last 12 years, that mindset around selling has been a constant struggle.
Then came my session at ClimbUK with the amazing team at MySalesCoach. A “coaching on the coach” chat with Steve Myers was a total lightbulb moment. It wasn’t sales I disliked; it was competition. This distinction was a game-changer. I realized my aversion wasn’t to the act of helping someone find a solution (the essence of sales), but to the rivalry and fighting that so often accompany it.
Unmasking the real culprit
This revelation wasn’t confined to business. I started noticing a pattern in other areas of my life. I’d always told myself I hated board games, sports, the investment landscape, and even politics. What did they all have in common? Competition.
The dictionary defines competition as “a rivalry where two or more parties strive for the same goal, which may be a prize, a position, or resources.” As someone with a naturally collaborative and supportive nature, this definition makes perfect sense. My core being shrinks from the idea of competing or fighting with others. I have no desire to metaphorically trample over people to get what I want. My vision of success is one where we can all achieve our goals and dreams. The thought of a zero-sum game, where one person’s win necessitates another’s loss, just gives me the ick.
From rivalry to collaboration
This new perspective has been incredibly freeing. Instead of trying to force myself to be a “shark” in a competitive ocean, I’m focusing on building a business framework based on my strengths: collaboration, support, and shared success. I’m not a “bad salesperson”; I’m a good collaborator.
By reframing my mindset, I’m now actively seeking partnerships and focusing on adding genuine value. I see other businesses not as rivals to be defeated, but as potential allies with whom I can achieve more. This isn’t a naive approach; it’s a strategic one. By focusing on shared goals and mutual support, we can build a more robust and sustainable ecosystem where everyone thrives. My business, built on a foundation of integrity and support, is a reflection of my personal values.
This journey has taught me that we don’t have to conform to old, ruthless models of success. We can, and should, redefine what it means to win on our own terms.
Join the conversation
This shift has been transformative for me, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Have you ever felt that “icky” feeling about competition? What are your tips and tricks for navigating a competitive landscape while staying true to your collaborative nature? Let’s discuss how we can build a world where we all get to win.
Share your thoughts with me here.
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