Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
For years, I believed I hated sales. The very word brought to mind the cutthroat, dishonest, and ruthless environment I experienced as a young estate agent.
Being made redundant from my Lettings Manager role while on maternity leave was, in a strange way, the perfect escape hatch. It was the push I needed to start my own business, where I hoped to leave that “icky” feeling behind. However, for the last 12 years, that mindset around selling has been a constant struggle.
Then came my session at ClimbUK with the amazing team at MySalesCoach. A “coaching on the coach” chat with Steve Myers was a total lightbulb moment. It wasn’t sales I disliked; it was competition. This distinction was a game-changer. I realized my aversion wasn’t to the act of helping someone find a solution (the essence of sales), but to the rivalry and fighting that so often accompany it.
Unmasking the real culprit
This revelation wasn’t confined to business. I started noticing a pattern in other areas of my life. I’d always told myself I hated board games, sports, the investment landscape, and even politics. What did they all have in common? Competition.
The dictionary defines competition as “a rivalry where two or more parties strive for the same goal, which may be a prize, a position, or resources.” As someone with a naturally collaborative and supportive nature, this definition makes perfect sense. My core being shrinks from the idea of competing or fighting with others. I have no desire to metaphorically trample over people to get what I want. My vision of success is one where we can all achieve our goals and dreams. The thought of a zero-sum game, where one person’s win necessitates another’s loss, just gives me the ick.
From rivalry to collaboration
This new perspective has been incredibly freeing. Instead of trying to force myself to be a “shark” in a competitive ocean, I’m focusing on building a business framework based on my strengths: collaboration, support, and shared success. I’m not a “bad salesperson”; I’m a good collaborator.
By reframing my mindset, I’m now actively seeking partnerships and focusing on adding genuine value. I see other businesses not as rivals to be defeated, but as potential allies with whom I can achieve more. This isn’t a naive approach; it’s a strategic one. By focusing on shared goals and mutual support, we can build a more robust and sustainable ecosystem where everyone thrives. My business, built on a foundation of integrity and support, is a reflection of my personal values.
This journey has taught me that we don’t have to conform to old, ruthless models of success. We can, and should, redefine what it means to win on our own terms.
Join the conversation
This shift has been transformative for me, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Have you ever felt that “icky” feeling about competition? What are your tips and tricks for navigating a competitive landscape while staying true to your collaborative nature? Let’s discuss how we can build a world where we all get to win.
Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
Focusing on others
As a woman in business it’s easy to get caught up in the comparison game. We scroll through social media, watch the highlight reels of others, and find ourselves asking those all-too-familiar questions: “Why aren’t I that successful?” “How come they get all the luck?” “Why does everyone seem to love them so much, when I’m over here struggling?”
I know I’ve been there. I remember being a quiet kid in school, watching the popular children from a distance, and wondering why I wasn’t like them. That feeling of being on the outside, of not quite belonging, is a heavy one. And the truth is, it doesn’t just disappear when you leave the school hallways. It can follow you into adulthood, into your career, and even into your personal life.
For years, I carried that same loneliness and self-doubt with me. I compared my journey as a writer and business leader to others, always feeling like I was falling short. The more I looked outward for validation, the more I felt I lacked. It was a vicious cycle of comparison and self-criticism that kept me from truly celebrating my own wins.
The shift to me
But a few years ago, something shifted for me. I had a moment of clarity that changed everything. I realized that the reason I felt like I was struggling wasn’t because of what anyone else had. It wasn’t about their success, their luck, or their popularity. It was because I wasn’t giving myself the love and respect I deserved.
I hadn’t celebrated my own achievements. I hadn’t fully embraced who I was—the good, the bad, and the beautifully imperfect. I was so focused on trying to be someone else’s version of “enough” that I had lost sight of my own. Once I started treating myself with kindness, once I started acknowledging my own strengths and accomplishments, something truly magical happened.
My “right people” started to appear in my life.
The old adage is true: “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” When you show up as your authentic self, you become a magnet for people who are on a similar wavelength. When you stop trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for you, you create space for genuine connections to flourish.
I started embracing all the quirky, beautiful parts of me. I’m a writer and an advocate for female success, yes, but I’m also newly disabled, a film fanatic, and a proud lover of giraffes. I’m a tea drinker and a wife to an amazing husband, and a mum to two children and two mischievous dachshunds. These are all parts of my story, and they are what make me, me.
And you know what? When I started sharing these truths, the community I had been searching for all along began to form around me. It wasn’t a group of people who were all exactly the same, but a crew of individuals who were all on their own journey to self-love and authenticity.
My invitation to you
So, if you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like the quiet one, the outsider, or the person constantly comparing themselves, I want you to know that you are not alone. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to stop looking outward and start looking inward.
Embrace your authentic self, celebrate every single win, and give yourself the same love and grace you would give to a friend. Your tribe is waiting for you to show up, fully and completely, as yourself.
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to reach out and introduce yourself to me here.
Women carry out, on average, 60% more unpaid work than men per week (e.g., domestic work and unpaid care)
Over two million women in the UK are paid less than the real living wage
Women only make up around 30% of senior management roles, and only 6% of CEOs of FTSE 100 companies
Though many businesses are taking action towards greater diversity and inclusion in their organisations, there’s still a long way to go, and progress can be slow.
Much of this progress is moved along by allyship – but how exactly can men support women’s careers and positively contribute to gender equality in the workplace?
1. Actively listen and amplify
A key issue in workplace gender equality is that women can feel as though they’re being talked over, belittled, or undermined.
This can often lead to hesitation around allyship, due to not wanting to be seen as ‘overtaking’ or taking ownership of the discussions.
Women are the experts in their experiences in the workplace and wider world, which makes active listening absolutely critical in allyship.
Active listening means that you’re valuing women for their contributions and experiences and can advocate for them and amplify their voices.
If there’s an opportunity to let a female colleague weigh in on a discussion, interject on their behalf to let them into the discussion!
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2. Give credit where credit is due
Fairness means valuing everyone’s contributions to the workplace, and a big part of this is giving credit to women for the work they do.
Though a misattribution of credit might not seem like anything major in the grand scheme of things, for women in the workplace that already feel unheard and unseen, it’s just another issue contributing to gender inequality.
Advocate for their ideas in meetings and ensure you’re always attributing their name to their achievements and successes – a little acknowledgement can go a long way.
3. Call out inequality
The odds are that you’re very familiar with the issues many women face in the workplace, and you may have already participated in discussions and/or initiatives relating to gender equality in the workplace.
But what about in practice, in the moments when inequality is in action?
If you see a female colleague experiencing a microaggression, speak up and challenge the perpetrator’s stereotyping directly.
If your workplace is currently running initiatives, activities, or media relating to gender inequality, show your support by engaging or sharing their efforts.
Small changes over time can be cumulative and encourage others to do the same!
4. Take your support outside of the workplace
Advocating for women professionally is important, but as we said in the statistics earlier, a lot of gender inequality comes from women taking on the additional burden of housework and childcare alongside their career.
Rather than allowing these disproportionate responsibilities to continue to stack up, participate in the ‘behind the scenes’ work that often goes unnoticed to help share the load with the women in your life.
This also includes advocating for better work-life balance in the workplace, such as paid leave for all caregivers and flexible working hours!
