Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
For years, I believed I hated sales. The very word brought to mind the cutthroat, dishonest, and ruthless environment I experienced as a young estate agent.
Being made redundant from my Lettings Manager role while on maternity leave was, in a strange way, the perfect escape hatch. It was the push I needed to start my own business, where I hoped to leave that “icky” feeling behind. However, for the last 12 years, that mindset around selling has been a constant struggle.
Then came my session at ClimbUK with the amazing team at MySalesCoach. A “coaching on the coach” chat with Steve Myers was a total lightbulb moment. It wasn’t sales I disliked; it was competition. This distinction was a game-changer. I realized my aversion wasn’t to the act of helping someone find a solution (the essence of sales), but to the rivalry and fighting that so often accompany it.
Unmasking the real culprit
This revelation wasn’t confined to business. I started noticing a pattern in other areas of my life. I’d always told myself I hated board games, sports, the investment landscape, and even politics. What did they all have in common? Competition.
The dictionary defines competition as “a rivalry where two or more parties strive for the same goal, which may be a prize, a position, or resources.” As someone with a naturally collaborative and supportive nature, this definition makes perfect sense. My core being shrinks from the idea of competing or fighting with others. I have no desire to metaphorically trample over people to get what I want. My vision of success is one where we can all achieve our goals and dreams. The thought of a zero-sum game, where one person’s win necessitates another’s loss, just gives me the ick.
From rivalry to collaboration
This new perspective has been incredibly freeing. Instead of trying to force myself to be a “shark” in a competitive ocean, I’m focusing on building a business framework based on my strengths: collaboration, support, and shared success. I’m not a “bad salesperson”; I’m a good collaborator.
By reframing my mindset, I’m now actively seeking partnerships and focusing on adding genuine value. I see other businesses not as rivals to be defeated, but as potential allies with whom I can achieve more. This isn’t a naive approach; it’s a strategic one. By focusing on shared goals and mutual support, we can build a more robust and sustainable ecosystem where everyone thrives. My business, built on a foundation of integrity and support, is a reflection of my personal values.
This journey has taught me that we don’t have to conform to old, ruthless models of success. We can, and should, redefine what it means to win on our own terms.
Join the conversation
This shift has been transformative for me, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Have you ever felt that “icky” feeling about competition? What are your tips and tricks for navigating a competitive landscape while staying true to your collaborative nature? Let’s discuss how we can build a world where we all get to win.
Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
Not the plan
This is not the blog post I planned to write. My alarm went off this morning, not with a gentle, melodic chime, but with the frantic barking of my two dogs at 3 a.m. One of those “it’s windy and therefore a cause for alarm” barks. A quick trip into the garden in the dark to let them out, a fruitless attempt to get them to quiet down, and then, just as quickly as it started, they were calm again. Me? Not so much. I didn’t get back to sleep.
My second alarm at 7 a.m. went off, and I was in that frustrating half-awake, half-asleep limbo. The morning was just getting started. My daughter, bless her heart, dropped a bomb: no clean school shirt. My husband wasn’t around, so I was the one to rummage through the laundry, frantically searching for a dryer sheet, only to find the clothes were still damp. My son, having seen his pre-made lunch, declared it inedible, so I had to slap together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in record time, which, of course, resulted in a sticky mess all over my hands.
From bad to worse
Then, the dog food bag broke. Spilling across the kitchen floor, it created a crunchy, oily mosaic. At least the dogs were happy, eagerly helping me “clean” it up. The final straw came when my son, on his way to school, fell off his bike. He came back in tears, with grazed knees and a broken chain. I spent a frantic few minutes trying to fix the bike, getting my hands covered in grease, and then comforting him, all while watching the clock tick past my departure time.
I was supposed to be on my way to London Tech Week at Olympia, ready to network and learn, but instead, I’m here, writing this, still in my pajamas, sipping a lukewarm cup of coffee. The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real, but so is the need to just take a breath and wallow in the chaos.
This is me
As a female founder and mum with a disability, things often don’t go to plan. And I’m willing to bet it’s the same for many of you. We see these polished photos online—the smiling faces at conferences, the perfectly styled outfits, the “I’m living my best life” posts. But what we don’t often see is the reality behind it all. The spilled coffee, the last-minute crises, the exhaustion that comes with juggling everything.
So, this is me, being fully transparent.
This is me, sharing a messy, frustrating, and very real morning. This is me, embracing the fact that sometimes, life doesn’t cooperate. And that’s okay. It’s a reminder that it’s perfectly fine to have a day where you do nothing but rest and recharge. There’s always next year for London Tech Week. For now, I’ll be here, scrolling through LinkedIn posts of everyone else enjoying the event, and I’ll be fine with that. I hope that by sharing this, you’ll know that you’re not alone on those days when everything seems to go wrong.
Share your story
Do you have a story like this where the day didn’t seem to go how you’d imagined it? Please share it with me here.
Hi, I’m Serena Fordham, and this blog post is an extension of my Amazon Bestselling Book “ProspHER(ish): The diary of a fcuked up female-founder” written to help women succeed in their businesses and careers – while ultimately achieving their dreams and fullest potential.
Focusing on others
As a woman in business it’s easy to get caught up in the comparison game. We scroll through social media, watch the highlight reels of others, and find ourselves asking those all-too-familiar questions: “Why aren’t I that successful?” “How come they get all the luck?” “Why does everyone seem to love them so much, when I’m over here struggling?”
I know I’ve been there. I remember being a quiet kid in school, watching the popular children from a distance, and wondering why I wasn’t like them. That feeling of being on the outside, of not quite belonging, is a heavy one. And the truth is, it doesn’t just disappear when you leave the school hallways. It can follow you into adulthood, into your career, and even into your personal life.
For years, I carried that same loneliness and self-doubt with me. I compared my journey as a writer and business leader to others, always feeling like I was falling short. The more I looked outward for validation, the more I felt I lacked. It was a vicious cycle of comparison and self-criticism that kept me from truly celebrating my own wins.
The shift to me
But a few years ago, something shifted for me. I had a moment of clarity that changed everything. I realized that the reason I felt like I was struggling wasn’t because of what anyone else had. It wasn’t about their success, their luck, or their popularity. It was because I wasn’t giving myself the love and respect I deserved.
I hadn’t celebrated my own achievements. I hadn’t fully embraced who I was—the good, the bad, and the beautifully imperfect. I was so focused on trying to be someone else’s version of “enough” that I had lost sight of my own. Once I started treating myself with kindness, once I started acknowledging my own strengths and accomplishments, something truly magical happened.
My “right people” started to appear in my life.
The old adage is true: “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” When you show up as your authentic self, you become a magnet for people who are on a similar wavelength. When you stop trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for you, you create space for genuine connections to flourish.
I started embracing all the quirky, beautiful parts of me. I’m a writer and an advocate for female success, yes, but I’m also newly disabled, a film fanatic, and a proud lover of giraffes. I’m a tea drinker and a wife to an amazing husband, and a mum to two children and two mischievous dachshunds. These are all parts of my story, and they are what make me, me.
And you know what? When I started sharing these truths, the community I had been searching for all along began to form around me. It wasn’t a group of people who were all exactly the same, but a crew of individuals who were all on their own journey to self-love and authenticity.
My invitation to you
So, if you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like the quiet one, the outsider, or the person constantly comparing themselves, I want you to know that you are not alone. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to stop looking outward and start looking inward.
Embrace your authentic self, celebrate every single win, and give yourself the same love and grace you would give to a friend. Your tribe is waiting for you to show up, fully and completely, as yourself.
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to reach out and introduce yourself to me here.
